-Spiritual Principle of Step One
Although I worked Step One for the first time almost 15 years ago, honesty is the spiritual principle that I continue to have the most challenges with and am frequently challenged by. I would say about half of the amends on my initial Ninth Step were related to dishonesty. As of today, there are two behaviors (one that has already occurred and the other which will occur in the future) on my mind that call for Amends.
Recently someone shared with me the idea of working the three A’s (Awareness, Acceptance and Action) for each step. I can clearly see how that process would work with Step One. I am almost always aware of my dishonest behavior. I am also aware that it generally stems from me wanting what I want, when I want it, and how I want it. I imagine that if I was less focused on getting what I want, I would have fewer opportunities to practice dishonesty.
Awareness comes with feelings; this is likely why in the past (in recovery) I would jump from Awareness to Action, giving lip service to Acceptance. Today (for today) I am sitting with the awareness of my behaviors and the feelings that have come with (although at times it feels like I am sitting IN and not just sitting WITH the feelings).
As I grow spiritually, I am aware that there is a balance between denial and impulsivity. My daily spiritual work helps me recognize the sweet spot.
Thanks for reading me today.
May we each be well along our path.
Atiya M.Durham, NC, USA
919-302-1030 (no text messages please)