Written this past weekend:
“It was transcended by the happiness they found in giving themselves for others.”
–Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th edition, page 159, A Vision for You
During my time in recovery, I have gotten really good at giving help. There are ways that I enjoy giving: I really like to share my story of recovery (grateful that I have one to share), I love traveling for OA service, and (most of the time) I appreciate getting to write this recovery reflection. I have also gotten really good at understanding the words “stop” (I have done enough) and “no” (let’s give someone else an opportunity). I have learned a lot about giving. Yet, there is still one area where giving continues to be a challenge: Giving help to my partner in ways that work best for him!
Today my partner’s daughter, her husband and their dog are coming to visit. She is cooking dinner for us and her grandparents. My partner has a lot of complex feelings going on. I want to support him in ways that are meaningful to him. So, I am getting to practice newer behavior. I am being present and showing up! I am listening to him. I am acting in ways that bring him comfort instead of conflict.
Today is about my partner and his family dynamics. The best way that I can help him today is to remember that (and not make it all about me). I think I can do it; you all have taught me well!
Hugs and love,
Atiya M.Durham, NC, USA919-302-1030 (no text messages please)firstname.lastname@example.org